Connecting with Emotion

We can learn many lessons from the Tragedy in Tucson. I won't try to enumerate them here. I will leave that to others more eloquent than I and simply join in mourning the loss of so many cherished lives and hopes and dreams.

President Obama's talk at the Arizona memorial service for the shooting victims of this horrific rampage has been widely hailed as "pitch perfect" by pundits and politicians across the spectrum of popular opinion. It worked for a lot of reasons. Above all, I think it worked because the President connected emotionally with the audience at the University of Arizona and with all of us watching on television.

Watch the speech on You Tube. Throughout he personalizes the victims as real people. Then, at 25:30 into the speech, he speaks of Christina, the lovely 9-year old girl who lost her life. For one of the rare times in his presidency, he spoke directly from his heart to our hearts, as a father first, then as a President. You could see the President catch himself, almost as if the enormity of the loss of that extraordinary young life hit him for the first time, as the father of his own 9-year old girl. It was a moment of genuine emotion we've rarely seen him share in public.

He did an excellent job in his speech and properly honored the dead with his measured and magnificent message. His tone was reverent, respectful and restrained.

There was another example of extraordinary communication yesterday on the evening news with Brian Williams of NBC.

It was a brief interview with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York. She described visiting her friend, Congresswoman Giffords, in the hospital. She paints a picture for us of the miraculous moment Gabby Giffords opened her eyes for the first time since the shooting.

Go watch and listen to Senator Gillibrand in the link below.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#41065211

This is what I call "all-in speaking". When someone is mentally, physically and emotionally connected with their message to the point where you feel it's coming from their soul. Obviously she was amped up from relating a personal and tremendously emotional experience with a friend she loves who has been enduring a trip to hell and back.

The moment is instructive from a communication perspective. This was Kirsten Gillibrand at her absolute best as a communicator. She owned her stage, her message and herself.

Could she be this good in other communication situations? Absolutely! If she chooses to do so. The same as the rest of us.

It's not about skill - it's about choices. Yesterday Senator Gillibrand did it without trying. Her thoughts just poured out of her. Yet she could also achieve the same emotional connection with the audience by design.

Commit to your message. Own it. If you speak as President Obama and Senator Gillibrand did (from your head, heart and gut), you will connect with any audience, anytime, anywhere, on anything. Take a look and see what you think.

God didn't make the President and the Senator good communicators. They had to earn it. You can too.

Lessons of 2010

Here are a few things I learned from working with my clients this past year. Maybe they can be of some use to you as you reflect on your own communication style in 2011.

1. CEOs get nervous. Even more than us since they perceive the fall if they fail as longer and harder than ours. They stop taking risks as speakers - the exact opposite of what they need. Many settle for boring and safe vs. daring and dangerous. I encourage them to take choreographed risks on stage, relax and live a little.
2. Screw the slides - before they screw you. I see executives agonize over how to speak to slides created by someone else. Create arresting visual formats for (10 or less) slides, then make the information fit the design - not vice versa. If all you do is plow through a 30-slide data dump in front of an auditorium, you've failed yourself and your audience.
3. Practice with peers. There's no better way to hone your client skills than to practice in front of colleagues and get support, feedback and suggestions. Don't just talk about clients. Role play with colleagues as the clients. You're among really smart people who do what you do. Share client stories, tips, techniques and make each other better.
4. Master your core stories. There are probably half a dozen core stories that explain your business. First, identify them (philosophy, process, structure, products, brands are all candidates as core stories). Then write them out in 500 words. Then practice out loud till they become second nature. Then have a long and short version - an electric and acoustic version. Then take them on the road and try them out on clients. It builds a masterful mental IPod.
5. Videotape the "other" you. If you are quiet and reserved, videotape your "inner evangelist" talking about a passion of yours. If loud and expressive, videotape your "inner librarian" whispering in a more understated style about something important. You get to see the other side of your communication self and expand both your verbal and nonverbal versatility.
6. Connect with your people. Grab a few free minutes and bring someone who works for you into the office and try to draw them out. Focus on finding out as much as you can about how their job is going and how they're doing. You become a better questioner and listener. They will leave feeling you heard and understood them. We all spend too much time talking, when we shoud be listening.

Much more to come in 2011. As you take whatever stage you will communicate from this year, remember my motivational mantra: If You Believe It, You Will Be It.