Build Your Brand

Brand matters.  Not just for Jay-Z or J-Lo or JK Rowling.  Us too! 

Many senior managers get frustrated when a direct report shows a forceful presence and point of view in their office and then blends into the woodwork among their colleagues in meetings. They rarely see them take a stand or add a leadership perspective to what they bring to senior-level meetings.  

This problem cuts across gender, geography and level, all the way up.  Careers can plateau or even regress for lack of a strong leader presence in public.  It pays to keep in mind that senior level meetings in private conference rooms qualify as "in public".

Senior managers get reluctant to put their direct report forward for the next level because their colleagues have not been won over yet. Those people can’t see the direct report in question wearing their boss’s shoes; or making their boss’s decisions; or projecting their boss’s presence.  If you’re that direct report, a few practical suggestions to remove this potential career roadblock. 

First, ask your boss to articulate specifically what’s missing:

o   “You always let Charlie take over the meeting”
o   “You take too long to cut to the chase”
o   “You go a whole meeting without saying anything impactful”
o   “You’re the smartest person in the room, but don't show it"

Second, script a few “points of view” before the next big meeting:

o   Make them short and sweet
o   Tell them to your smartphone for practice
o   Test drive the ideas with colleagues pre-meeting
o   Develop assertive tactics to counter objections
o   Make expressing these points of view your “exit visa” 

Third, avoid your “reporter” voice – use your “leader” voice:

o   Don’t dump problems on the table – point to solutions
o   Don’t bail at the first objection – play your hand out
o   Express ways to operationalize your ideas using the team
o   Lead the room to action – own your ideas

Senior level business meetings can be a Darwinian proving ground for all kinds of leadership species.  You are being seen as well as heard.  Your boss is watching you and watching how others watch you.  Project a strong presence.  Compete for air time, real estate and attention. 

It doesn’t mean being a loudmouth or a show off. It means getting your leader voice and presence heard and seen.  If not, someone else can get a great opportunity meant for you.  If all the people hear and see from you in a meeting is a well-paid reporter, you are failing to compete as a leader.

Tough meetings are an acid test of presence under pressure. Make sure you understand and project what your boss wants to see and hear from you. Project that in public and they will gain even more reasons to foster your candidacy for the next level. 

Give them the weapons they need to win people over on your behalf.  Senior sponsors can be very effective if they believe in who they’re sponsoring – and everyone else does too.  Think of it as "air cover" for advancement.

Why Build Decks?

If you're building a deck to enjoy your back yard this summer, go for it!  If you're building a slide deck for your next meeting, hold on a minute. Do you really need one?

Do senior executives walk around their companies with slide decks in their hands?  No.  Yet, middle managers in those companies might feel naked if they called an internal meeting without a deck.

In my experience, slide decks are overrated.  People fall into the trap of getting through the slides (in the right order) rather than simply telling their business story and connecting with the people around the table.  The slides are mere reference and illustration for what you are saying.  The slides aren't the star - you are!

So next time, ask yourself if you really need a slide deck.  If the answer is yes, ask yourself 4 questions before you build one.

What are we doing?
Why are we doing it?
How are we doing it?
What will come of it?

At least the resulting slide deck will flow like a story, rather than a rote recitation of facts, which even for middle managers is way below their pay grade and their capabilities. Better yet, declare a deck-free month in your company and see how people like it or a check-your-deck-at-the-door policy so people have to talk and connect in meetings rather than trudge through tedious material.

Why not?  Who's opposed?  The Save A Slide Deck Society.

Brains on Board

 

As an external coach for my clients, I’m still a big believer in using your “brains on board” to help employees develop in their careers.  Your own line leaders are de facto coaches every single day.  It’s among the best ways to help employees learn and grow on the job.

Leaders can get paralyzed by the lead-by-example construct.  We live in a lead aloud world.  We can "follow" major and minor celebrity gurus on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.  They push their personal brands as influencers and some of us listen – by the hundreds of thousands.  Do we have to wait for external gurus to strut their stuff in cyberspace?  Why not use internal leaders to share their hard-earned wisdom across the company on internal social media?

Below see Ken Chennault tell the Wall Street Journal how he likes to run meetings.  It's 2:12 of sound advice.  Advice like this abounds in your companies. Why not give your leaders a platform?

Ken Chennault Video

Obama’s Syrian Sale

Barack Obama has a poor background to be a crisp communicator – lawyer, professor and senator.  Long scholarly arguments filled with nuance.  In his press conference today from the G20 Summit in St. Petersburg, his background was on full display. His answers were overly long.  He was too nice to the reporters.  He answered hypotheticals.  He went off on tangents. He sold us something by telling us what it is not. 

We all know the President can give a great prepared speech.  Yet on next Tuesday, he should abandon his perfect platform speech and make a simple straightforward pitch to the American people. 

A few suggestions:

·         Dump the “I/My” language for “We/Our”
·         Use shorter declarative sentences
·         Don’t explain your opponent’s views
·         Tell us what it is – not what it isn’t
·         Set a historical context for this action
·         Punch words with passion and conviction
·         Tell us why it’s worth it for us

He should make his talk 10 minutes.  Lincoln needed less at Gettysburg.  After weeks of debate and bluster from all sides, he should need no longer to crystallize his message. 

His words should be forged in steel, not swathed in subtlety.

Build Your Presence

Can you be a horrible human being and have presence?  Sure.  Hitler, Caligula, Sadaam.  Pick your poison.  They all had "bad" presence of one kind or another.  Serial killers have presence. You can be a miserable SOB and have presence.  Bernie Madoff still has presence in prison.

You can drive yourself nuts reading about it all - executive presence, leadership presence and plain old professional presence. I'll keep it simple.  After coaching 3000 men and women on Wall Street from CEOs to college grads, here's what I've observed from those who have what I call "good" presence. 

They tend to:

• act like they belong wherever they are
• are fully engaged in whatever they're doing
• ask thoughtful questions and genuinely listen
• lead with respect, consideration and kindness
• guard their reputation by acting with integrity
• connect with people on a human level everywhere
• display unflagging passion, commitment and energy
• try to add value to every situation they participate in
• speak clear messages by talking with people, not at them

In my experience, people with good presence are also authentic everywhere. They display their real self in the boardroom, the backyard, the bistro, the ballet or the ballgame.  What you see is what you get.  That consistency of personality helps others trust what they see from them.

Finally, presence is developed from the inside out.  A nice suit may only get you in the door.  A presence based on values and substance can get you a seat at the table.

Give Yourself Permission

At times in business, we can project a professional version of ourselves to the world, rather than our real selves - like secret agents using a cover identity.  Rather than risk being who we really are; we play it safe as someone else.

In my experience, this is the single greatest barrier to us being good communicators.  We present as professionals and forget how to talk as people.

When I ask a client to repeat something in practice, as their real self, they get much better.  At times, "night and day" better.

They drop their corporate facade.  They break "speaker scar tissue" that's built up over the years and they start taking a few chances - on themselves.  They stop "presenting" and start "talking" again.

Give yourself permission to be the real you at work.  You'll be a more relaxed communicator; people will connect with you again; and you'll make more of an impact on the world around you.

Lessons From Hillary

Today, January 23, 2013, Hillary Clinton testified on the tragedy in Benghazi before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.  I'll let others opine on the merits of her testimony. I suggest any woman or man who wishes to project their personal power go watch her appearance today. 
 
In terms of style and skill, her testimony was a communication classroom to watch someone who knows what they're doing in this type of setting.  My takeways:
 

• She sat up in her chair and engaged senators eye to face
• She was "all-in" - intellectually, physically and emotionally
• She gestured with purpose, synching gestures with words 
• She varied her pace and punch while reading her statement
• She probably read from bigger font, short paragraph text
• She directed answers to her questioner, not the committee
• She let the questioner's emotional force wash past her
• She responded to sharp accusations in calm, neutral terms
• She raised her voice once, to confront issues, not a person
• She framed her answers in clear, common-sense realities
• She projected her competence, clarity and transparency
• She illuminated her own sorrow, responsibility and regret

Finally, for any women around the world who speak in front of committees of two women and a whole bunch of middle-aged guys, take a lesson here. Like Hillary did; don't play to their standards. Play to yours.  Own your stage and space.  Project your physical, emotional and intellectual power.  Give them the whole package you possess. 

The men on that committee respect Secretary Clinton and know she's a force to be reckoned with - partly by performance and reputation, but also by how she carries herself in the spotlight. 

Love her or loathe her; she owns the room!

 

Obama - History Awaits

Tomorrow our President, Barack Obama, will deliver his second inaugural speech to the nation and the world.

This morning, a conservative professor named Thomas Basile wrote a piece on Forbes.com titled "Obama's Inaugural Speech Isn't Worth Watching." His Tea Party subtext is "Same Liberal Noise; Why Bother?" 

On one level, he's right.  Finding a memorable second inaugural speech is kind of like finding Paris Hilton's Greatest Film Roles.  

Yet I contend that, regardless of political affiliation, you should watch the President's speech. We are always facing a dangerous and uncertain world - every inaugural - every President.

As in other times, global and domestic challenges abound:

• climate change becoming ubiquitous and unstoppable
• radical elements shifting political lanscapes everywhere
• terrorism growing more autonomous and amorphous
• nuclear weaponization nearing uncontrollable global reality
• crushing debt forcing retrenchment of liberal democracies
• potential for local and regional wars raging out of control

At the same time, global and domestic opportunities abound:

• democratic elements, though crude, toppling dictatorships
• a global middle class forcing enormous economic change 
• potential U.S. energy independence with reward and risk
• science generating new discoveries in the universe
• genetic research revolutionizing treatment and prevention
• social media and technology fueling entrepreneurship

I encourage each American to ignore the cynics and all watch President Obama's speech tomorrow.  This is a man unburdened by the need to run for office. A man who is faced with the folly of partisan gridlock. A man who is admittedly conscious of his own legacy as President.

I expect partisanship. I also expect leadership. We all hope and pray that the President lifts us as a nation toward higher goals than mere media combat and party line votes. We've had about as much of that as we can stomach.

We stand on the verge of this generation's last gasps and the following generation's first triumphs. In his speech, Barack Obama is not a JFK receiving the torch. He's Dwight Eisenhower preparing to pass on the torch. Next inaugural, he won't get to say anything. He'll be mute.

Regardless of your politics, we all acknowledge that President Obama is pretty good with the spoken word. Tomorrow, I expect him to elevate the dialogue beyond reasonable and reachable to what excites us all as Americans - the very real possibility of our collective greatness rescuing our reason. 

Barack Obama is eminently capable of doing just that.  Let's all watch tomorrow and see if he does.  I guess Professor Basile will be sorting out his sock drawer.

In the context of great moments, this is like Ted Williams' last at bat.  I expect our President to deliver just like Ted did.

A home run.

Colin Powell's Presence

This post is about making an impact - from hello. 

Colin Powell does. You can too!

On today's edition of Meet the Press, the guest was General Colin Powell.  Whatever you think about General Powell's politics, no one can deny he is a man of tremendous significance and import in our world. 

I won't dwell on politics. Rather I'd encourage everyone to borrow from his communication style for your next business meeting - whether it's with your board of directors or your boss or your bridge club. 

Go watch the clip here and see for yourself. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032608/ 

David Gregory opens with an 8-word question about Chuck Hagel, the former senator who has been nominated for Defense Secretary.  He asks Powell: "why do you think he should be confirmed?" Colin Powell launched into a 2:34 defense of his friend, Senator Hagel. 

Here are some Powell Presence Points to observe from a professional leader and commanding communicator:

• He sat upright in a neutral position

• He wore a strong suit/tie/shirt combo

• He gestured with head, hands and eyes

• He spoke without any notes at all

• He spoke from his head, heart and gut

• He sounded calm and conversational

• He absolutely owned his message

What he achieved was what I call an "opening statement to the jury" where he laid out his case.  Can you do this in your next meeting? Sure. Rather than start with your head buried in a deck of slides, start upright with no notes.  As I said in my last post, you can even ask yourself an opening question to stay conversational and look relaxed.

Lay out your case for 2 minutes.  Before you get to slide one, you may get a question from the board or your boss.  Welcome it.  You are now back on your home court and you'll be fine.  Just as General Powell was with the stream of questions that followed. 

If you start any meeting like General Powell did today; you will own your stage from the first breath and you will establish a strong and commanding presence.  Try it. 

Perhaps General Powell, way back in high school in the Bronx, was a great communicator.  Perhaps not.  I'll bet you 20 bucks though, that he learned how to own his stage like this along the way.   

Mimic his style.  It works!

Who Likes Presentations?

Most of us hate giving them.  Many of us can't stand receiving them.  Some of us would rather have a colonoscopy than do either.

What's the solution for the presenter?

I've coached almost 3000 men and women in major global companies.  When they present, they're OK. When they talk; they rock.  What really drives their (and our) success as communicators is when we sound conversational, not presentational.

OK, but how do I do that if I'm giving a presentation and not into Q&A yet? 

You simply insert into your presentation a few rhetorical questions like ("why go down this road?") and reframing statements like ("the critical event happended in July  - let me tell you why"). All of a sudden, you're back on your home court as a communicator telling the audience a story. You sound better - your body relaxes - and we see and hear your authentic personality versus your presentation personality.

If you think it's too simple, consider this:

A veteran Wall Street research analyst talks about a U.S. company he covers.  In the morning, he presents from a research note (that he wrote) to a few hundred people "live" in a trading room.  That afternoon, he talks to a Bloomberg or CNBC reporter about the very same research (without a note) to a few million people "live" on TV from the same trading room.  As a communicator in the morning - he's not so good. Afternoon - he rocks. 

Same analyst.  What's the big difference? 

In the morning, he presented.  In the afternoon, he talked.  Don't wait for a reporter to show up and ask questions in the auditorium or room or office you're presenting in.

Create the conversation!  Talking wins. Presentation loses.

P.S.  See the five questions and one reframing statement in this blog post.  How conversatioal could you sound presenting this?

Women Rise Up

When we all saw Ann Romney and Michelle Obama and so many other successful women take the stage to speak at this year’s political conventions, it made me hopeful for my daughter in college.  Women are the majority gender in this country but have often taken a place backstage at these quadrennial party gatherings, rather than taking center stage as the headliners.

It wasn’t just the GOP candidate’s wife and the First Lady though.  We saw women cabinet secretaries (past and current), senators, representatives, governors, mayors and mothers and daughters.  All were as eloquent as their male counterparts – some even wiped the floor with their male colleagues in terms of speaking skill.  I don’t say that with surprise.  I say it in a sense of “what took us so long to see it?”

In my job, I have the privilege of coaching successful business people across title, culture, geography and gender.  For male and female clients, their speaking success is about projecting poise, presence and power on whatever stage they occupy. It’s all about connecting with their audiences intellectually, physically and emotionally.  It’s being an “all-in” speaker – communicating from your head, your heart and your gut.

We saw a lot of that “all-in” speaking at both conventions – even from women whose only official title is “mother”.  None did it better than Michelle Obama.  Here’s some of what I saw her do:

She used self-disclosure to bring us into her world
She wrapped her thoughts in shared human experience
She dressed her ideas in the audience’s everyday reality
She spoke with controlled passion in a conversational way
She stood up straight and projected physical strength
She built a human bridge to her audience’s heart

Whether their preferred role model is Ann Romney or Michelle Obama or Susana Martinez or Tammy Duckworth, young women and girls had a lot of great public examples to emulate on these nights.  They can start though by emulating their mother/heroes, as many of these women did.  Those mothers struggled, in their own way, to crack the glass ceiling of prejudice.

As a man and a father, I offer one piece of advice to all those daughters. Don’t keep cracking your head against the glass ceiling.  I'm told it hurts.

Save your heads – kick the door down instead.

Soon it will be two men up on stage at their party conventions – praising their dad/heroes – and their candidate/wives – and their brave daughters.

Private Equity Personality

Sunday January 22, David Rubinstein, the head of Carlyle Group was on Fareed Zakaria’s show Global Public Square on CNN. The Carlyle Group is one of the biggest private equity firms in the world.

The subject was private equity, in the context of the recent flogging of Mitt Romney over his salad days at Bain Capital. Whether you love or hate private equity – understand it or think it’s a mystery – Mr. Rubinstein presented a very cogent argument for why private equity makes sense as a business and even helps middle class people who co-invest alongside Mr. Rubinstein and his partners. Middle class people like teachers, policeman, and other union members can and do co-invest in private equity funds through their own pension funds. They seek the same superior returns that the Carlyle Group is seeking.

But this isn’t a post about private equity. It’s about connecting with people. Mitt Romney can’t do it. David Rubinstein can – but he didn’t – at least not on this show.

Mr. Rubinstein presented a collection of facts that assembled his argument for private equity as a good thing. It was rational, logical and well spoken but in my view it didn’t connect with his audience as well as it could have. It would have been great for a business school audience but that wasn’t who he was speaking to – he was speaking to the world.

He could have connected much better if he had woven his private equity story around his dad, a postal service worker in Baltimore who never made over $8,000 a year. He could have said that his father, a middle class worker, might have been one of his unseen partners at the Carlyle Group through a public worker pension fund. He mentioned his dad toward the end of the interview but too late to help much.

I’ve never met David Rubinstein but he’s a terrific talker. Go on You Tube and watch him talk to business school students at University of Maryland last year. He has a quick wit, great stories and owns his stage. He connects with people, regaling them with family stories about growing up middle class in Baltimore, the only child of two parents who never graduated high school. Humble roots for #139 on the Forbes 400 list.

He could have done that on CNN with Fareed and everyday people might have connected with his point and his person. Instead he came off a bit stiff and a touch Romney-like, delivering facts without feelings. He left his personality home.

Bottom line – when talking to real people about real things, be the real you.

Lead with Dad!

Try Stuff Out

Politicians like Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Michelle Bachmann and all the way back to JFK, Nixon, Truman, Lincoln and Washington had what is called a Stump Speech.

It’s a series of talks they give over and over on the road in a campaign. They adjust them as they go in all of the primaries and the election – a little tweak in Iowa; a subtle nuance in New Hampshire; a new flourish in Florida; and an extra pinch of passion in California – but it’s basically the same speech.

They even find signature lines along the way. Romney’s “opportunity society” or Obama’s “pass this bill”.

Try that as a leader. Pick small gatherings and try stuff out. Build your own library of repeatable messages about your company. It makes your life easier, not harder.

Politicians are run ragged on the road – so are you. Don’t be creative. Find messages that work and use them over and over and over.

Listen for Lunch

If you’re the Big Boss at your place, your HR team is likely to arrange small employee roundtables entitled Lunch with Larry or Dinner with Diana. Big Bosses often go to these occasions prepped to empty their gas tank of platitudes, pronouncements, progress and pitfalls for their business.

Switch things around.

Ask participants to come with their one best idea for the business, the company or the culture. Go round the table and ask each person to articulate their idea. Facilitate discussion. Weave the threads. Only talk if you follow up on something they said.

Ask one of them to recap the meeting. Then tell them what you think. If you can, pick out one or two ideas to go after in earnest. Enlist participants in giving their ideas life. If someone's idea doesn't get picked up this time, urge them to keep thinking.

It may be the best Big Boss roundtable they (and you) ever had.

Smooth the Seams

Watch the best conversationalists in your life or business. Can you see and hear the seams of their conversations or does it flow smoothly based on a mutual sharing of information with their counterparty? Usually they make it look effortless. It's not based on inborn ability. It's based on years of practice.

Too many times in business meetings we ask a question and respond immediately and abruptly with our next point. We either don’t follow up with a question to find out more or we don’t share our side of a similar story, observation, conclusion or experience. It’s like watching ping pong being played on the wrong kind of table.

Smooth the seams by drawing the other person out and then giving back. Follow your own curiosity until you reach a point of more natural transition. Relationships in life and business are built on sharing experiences. It helps us connect with people.

The Tuck Rule

Justin Tuck is a great defensive end for the New York Giants pro football team who has played with a variety of injuries all season. Before a victory against their rivals, the Jets, a sportswriter speculated that Tuck’s coach may have pulled him aside for a talk to remind him to watch his body language. As a leader, he could bring his teammates down if they see him slumping and looking defeated on the sidelines, no matter how he was feeling.

Justin came out with a different look and energy against the Jets and played a key role in leading his team to a much-needed win. I'm sure part of his success was a result of the improvement in his assorted injuries but part of the team's success was a result of getting their leader back.

Leaders are required to be actors at times. Followers feed off their positive or negative energy, especially in times of crisis. As a great salesman said, “people hear what they see”. Make sure your people see (and hear) what you want them to, especially in the big "must win" games in business.

Women and Men

One of my clients told me about a previous coaching experience she had in her career. The (male) executive coach sat down in the conference room and said to her: "You've been assigned to me because I'm the coach who understands women".

Wow! My first reaction to that outrageous statement was: "how can any man be that arrogant or that stupid?" I've been married for 25 years and still don't understand women. I share that ignorance with 3.5 billion other men on the planet Earth.

What I do know is when it comes to communication, most people tend to focus on what is different about men and women. After coaching 3000 people in the business world (roughly 65% men and 35% women), I'd like to take another approach. Let's focus on a few things we have in common as communicators:

We talk too fast. Try to pause after big points; punch key words; breathe between sentences and vary your pace - brisk for matter-of-fact information and deliberate for critical information.

We listen too fast. Try to listen quietly with less head nodding; use fewer "right, right, rights or sure, sure, sures"; take a silent breath before you respond and occasionally build your point off what the other person said to build a bridge between their point and yours.

We slump in our seats. Try to sit up toward the front of your chair; take up more real estate at the table by freeing up your elbows and aim for an upright neutral posture while speaking.

We lean too much. Try to keep a level head and when making a key point get your hands and arms off the table or chair to gesture with purpose.

We smile at the wrong times. Try to keep an appropriate "mask for the moment". You don't have to look like a prison guard, but avoid smiling while talking about serious things. It diminshes your gravitas.

We breathe weakly. Try to breathe from the belly up, not the neck up. Lie down on the floor at home, put a big heavy book on your stomach and breathe in and out. You will discover your diapraghm - the "bellows in your belly" that powers your voice.

We don't cut to the chase. Try flipping your message on it's head and lead with your conclusion. Your audience will love you for it. It you meander your way to the point, your audience will want to strangle you.

There are many other things we share as female and male communicators, but I'll stop here. If we focus only on gender-specific weaknesses, we can fall into the trap of thinking of only gender-specific strengths. We all face the same hurdles and demons as communicators. As Indira Gandhi once said:

"My theory is that men are no more liberated than women."

When it comes to communicating, she was absolutely right!

P.S. If you want to learn from someone who really knows something about gender linguistics, read Deborah Tannen's work.

Reagan's Planned Effortlessness

We've had 44 presidents so far. Only one is known as the Great Communicator - Ronald Reagan. Some people think that speakers like Reagan were born with charisma.

Turns out he had a little help, from himself.

Douglas Brinkley, the historian and author of The Reagan Diaries, was on the evening news telling how Reagan would write down stories and even jokes he heard on index cards in long hand. He'd keep them in a shoe box or photo album and pull them out periodically to help him prepare for talks and speeches.

People would then hear him recount the stories or jokes at an occasion and they'd ask the pople around them; "where the heck does he get all this great material?".  Easy: he's been collecting it for the last 30 years!

You can use Reagan's way or you can use a little web camera to record a personal "greatest hits" video album of stories or jokes on your desktop or IPad for easy retrieval on the run.

Like Reagan did using pen to paper technology, you can build a mental library of great material - all ready for prime time.

If you think great communicators just wing it - think again!

Marking the Moment

Tonight President Obama marked a pivotal moment in American history - the killing of Osama Bin Laden - with a magnificently understated yet powerful speech. The speech hit every note perfectly and spoke to the gravity of the announcement without arrogance or celebration.

He connected the victory to the heart-wrenching deaths of 3000 Americans and the empty spaces left at their family dinner tables and inside their loved one's hearts. He honored the service of every brave American who had contributed to the war on terror, many of whose names will never be known. He wove a thread between this event and our national pride as Americans - that we will never bow to tyrants or give up the search for the murderers of our citizens.

This was Barack Obama's signature presidential speech.

Lincoln had the Gettyburg Address. FDR had his Pearl Harbor speech. Reagan had his Challenger speech. Kennedy had his Berlin speech. George W. Bush had his address to Congress after 9/11. To that pantheon we must add this speech, not in terms of soaring rhetoric, but in terms of the historic combination of message, moment and man.

Certain speeches make Presidents seem tall and others seem small. This speech highlighted President Obama's ability to switch gears from the levity of the White House Correspondent's Dinner to the seriousness of tonight. He was able to display great humor and trump his detractors deftly, all the while knowing full well what was afoot back in the Situation Room at the White House.

Congratulations Mr. President. You nailed this speech and delivered the message directly into the camera - to all of us.

Connecting with Emotion

We can learn many lessons from the Tragedy in Tucson. I won't try to enumerate them here. I will leave that to others more eloquent than I and simply join in mourning the loss of so many cherished lives and hopes and dreams.

President Obama's talk at the Arizona memorial service for the shooting victims of this horrific rampage has been widely hailed as "pitch perfect" by pundits and politicians across the spectrum of popular opinion. It worked for a lot of reasons. Above all, I think it worked because the President connected emotionally with the audience at the University of Arizona and with all of us watching on television.

Watch the speech on You Tube. Throughout he personalizes the victims as real people. Then, at 25:30 into the speech, he speaks of Christina, the lovely 9-year old girl who lost her life. For one of the rare times in his presidency, he spoke directly from his heart to our hearts, as a father first, then as a President. You could see the President catch himself, almost as if the enormity of the loss of that extraordinary young life hit him for the first time, as the father of his own 9-year old girl. It was a moment of genuine emotion we've rarely seen him share in public.

He did an excellent job in his speech and properly honored the dead with his measured and magnificent message. His tone was reverent, respectful and restrained.

There was another example of extraordinary communication yesterday on the evening news with Brian Williams of NBC.

It was a brief interview with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York. She described visiting her friend, Congresswoman Giffords, in the hospital. She paints a picture for us of the miraculous moment Gabby Giffords opened her eyes for the first time since the shooting.

Go watch and listen to Senator Gillibrand in the link below.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#41065211

This is what I call "all-in speaking". When someone is mentally, physically and emotionally connected with their message to the point where you feel it's coming from their soul. Obviously she was amped up from relating a personal and tremendously emotional experience with a friend she loves who has been enduring a trip to hell and back.

The moment is instructive from a communication perspective. This was Kirsten Gillibrand at her absolute best as a communicator. She owned her stage, her message and herself.

Could she be this good in other communication situations? Absolutely! If she chooses to do so. The same as the rest of us.

It's not about skill - it's about choices. Yesterday Senator Gillibrand did it without trying. Her thoughts just poured out of her. Yet she could also achieve the same emotional connection with the audience by design.

Commit to your message. Own it. If you speak as President Obama and Senator Gillibrand did (from your head, heart and gut), you will connect with any audience, anytime, anywhere, on anything. Take a look and see what you think.

God didn't make the President and the Senator good communicators. They had to earn it. You can too.